Last day of the month means a trip to the dump with the month's tipping fee. The kids started out wild, so I didn't even get to shower before getting them up. Eventually, I hopped in the shower and Abbey wanted in....in a frantic day, it was a sweet moment as she hugged me and tucked her head into the water.
I decided a trip to Target would distract me, so we headed there. I had organized my coupons with a list, ready to save some money. I didn't count on the fact that Target was all over the place, under construction. Hard to find stuff. Adam did a good job walking with me out of the cart, though he did do some "shopping"...picking out Toy Story wrapping paper, a DVD and some bubbles. And some men's shower gel. Pretty cute. And he took it well when I made him put it back. But I certainly didn't get through my list.
I did have a coupon for a toy...a Sesame Street toy that is the modern version of something I had in the 1970's. I tucked it under the cart for a future date. Adam spotted it immediately. Even after I showed him that I put it on the shelf, he saw it hidden I guess during check out and actually looked for it when we go home.
And Miss Abigail decided she had had enough while I was paying, wiggled out of the seat belt and crammed her self in the tiny space between the handle and the seat. Sigh. Couponing and toddlers don't mix. And I found the Target irritating, where usually it's something I would just shrug off.
But when i got how, the anxiety wasn't gone. It kept building and I found myself short tempered.
Then Todd came home and poked me....teasing me. It all came out...I yelled and slapped right back. A little bit of rage to let the pressure off :) Being Todd, he just laughed and kept provoking me when I yelled "I'm ready to blow...you should knock it off!"
Supposedly, my surgery will rid me of these feelings. That would be nice. One of the things I'm looking forward to the most.
Some venting to my husband, a beer and snuggle with my kiddos seemed to finally help me relax. Really? I have nothing to worry about. Well, except the surgery. It's a vicious circle, isn't it?
The anxiety is understandable. You probably didn't sleep well either. Even if you were unconscious, your mind may not have been relaxed. I know that always affected me in many ways. One moment at a time.
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