Pressure Cooker

I woke up this morning wound tight.  It's a type of anxiety I've gotten used to, though I'll never truly get used to it.  Tight chest, mind racing about nothing in particular, light headed and easily thrown off and frazzled.  And it can build into a little rage, if I'm not careful.

Last day of the month means a trip to the dump with the month's tipping fee.  The kids started out wild, so I didn't even get to shower before getting them up.  Eventually, I hopped in the shower and Abbey wanted in....in a frantic day, it was a sweet moment as she hugged me and tucked her head into the water.

I decided a trip to Target would distract me, so we headed there.  I had organized my coupons with a list, ready to save some money.  I didn't count on the fact that Target was all over the place, under construction.  Hard to find stuff.  Adam did a good job walking with me out of the cart, though he did do some "shopping"...picking out Toy Story wrapping paper, a DVD and some bubbles. And some men's shower gel.  Pretty cute.  And he took it well when I made him put it back.  But I certainly didn't get through my list. 

I did have a coupon for a toy...a Sesame Street toy that is the modern version of something I had in the 1970's. I tucked it under the cart for a future date.  Adam spotted it immediately.  Even after I showed him that I put it on the shelf, he saw it hidden I guess during check out and actually looked for it when we go home.

And Miss Abigail decided she had had enough while I was paying, wiggled out of the seat belt and crammed her self in the tiny space between the handle and the seat.  Sigh.  Couponing and toddlers don't mix. And I found the Target irritating, where usually it's something I would just shrug off.

But when i got how, the anxiety wasn't gone.  It kept building and I found myself short tempered.

Then Todd came home and poked me....teasing me.  It all came out...I yelled and slapped right back.  A little bit of rage to let the pressure off :)  Being Todd, he just laughed and kept provoking me when  I yelled "I'm ready to blow...you should knock it off!"

Supposedly, my surgery will rid me of these feelings.  That would be nice.  One of the things I'm looking forward to the most.

Some venting to my husband, a beer and snuggle with my kiddos seemed to finally help me relax.  Really?  I have nothing to worry about.  Well, except the surgery.  It's a vicious circle, isn't it?

Hurricane Lynn

My mom was here for just over 48 hours.  She was supposed to arrive on April 17, flying down with my brother-in-law Eric.  When she had booked the flight, she told me she hadn't paid for a return flight, making it sound like she would stay awhile.  She kept denying she was heading right back with Eric (who supposedly was coming to drive her vehicle back) but I knew that's what she would do.  I was right.  But I didn't expect that she'd freak out on her connecting flight, that her and Eric would get a hotel in Newark and drive a rental car to Syracuse the following day.  Feeling sympathy for Eric, I picked them up there.  

She was flighty.  She looked sad and stressed and I knew being back here made her miss Dad more.  I resolved that the next day, I would have a more positive attitude.  I told her I'd be there the next morning, but while on my way, I found out she would be doing something else.  I sighed and instead of beating her up for it, she agreed to come home early.  She kind of apologized and I resolved to move forward.  We made plans for Rudy's the next day.  Then Eric was telling me the latest he could leave was Monday.  And it was clear now more than ever that Mom was going back with him.  I told her not to wait around until Monday for me....Eric needed to get home.  In my mind, he had more than done his part.

We met at Rudy's and I talked with Eric and heard about how Mom has been wandering the house depressed.  I told her to go home.  She was obviously at her worst.  I felt bad for her.  She looked older, tired and sad.  I suppose if her new townhouse in Virginia is making her feel better and move forward, it's for the best.  I am still sad she's gone.  I won't see her much.  My kids won't see her.  Adam misses her.  They had some fun behind Rudy's.

 My pretty girl.

 Who couldn't stop trying to make a break for it.

 Adam looking at the water with Grandma...and Abbey escaping....

 Not sure what Eric is pointing at!

 Like this picture.  Hard to get a picture of the two of them together where I can see their faces.

 Grandma!  Adam really adores her.  I made her tell him she was leaving this time and explain it all.  She didn't tell him in December and he was confused.  She promised to come back.  It was hard that she was in town for two days, didn't accomplish a lot of her goals and wasn't even in the mindset to visit.  It felt like a hurricane passed through...Hurricane Lynn.  I love my mother and I truly hope that the sadness she was clearly carrying here is lessened in her new life.

A Winter Day

A couple of months ago, when Adam was all suited up in his Dinosaur suit, he headed into the kitchen with Buzz.  I noticed Buzz was working hard to get that vent off.  In Toy Story 2, the toys go through a heating vent to get to Woody.  It's so cute.  Adam spends much of his time acting out scenarios from his favorite movies and books and now, even some he just comes up with!

Abbey was walking around in her Giraffe costume that day, too.  Watching her movie after lunch.

Here she is on a different day in February...she got this stroller as a late Christmas gift from the Potters and I knew the minute she saw it, she'd want to sit in it.  I was right.  She loves this thing. She picks different things to push in it.  It's gotten a little beaten up in the past weeks.

Mama Abbey.  She keeps pretty busy these days with herself.  She loves pieces of sets especially.  There are these little set of books she's been hoarding lately.  Check out the rug....you can see Kung Fu Panda, Jessie from Toy Story and that's Spengler from Ghostbusters lol Uncle Bobby won it for her in a claw machine...just another day in our house...with all our "friends"!  I had assumed my kids would get cabin fever this past winter like Adam had the year before.  But the mild winter combined with their imaginations have kept them pretty happy1

Ethan Potter Turns 3

Last month, we headed up to Richland for Ethan Potter's 3rd birthday.  Ethan is Terry's grandson and Jason's son.  He is cute as a button, shier than Adam and more Abbey's size.  He is a sweetheart and has the most gorgeous big eyes.  They've known each other since they were born. When we got there, at Terry and Debbie's house, Abbey went right for this toy tractor. Last summer, she loved that thing and steals the keys off the fridge to "drive it".  Apparently, she didn't forget where they were....she went right for them.  She looks like such a big girl...she's driving past Debbie and her other grandchild, Harlie.  Cute.  Below is Ethan.  This is him posing for my photo with his "phone".  He has the BEST puppy dog eyes!

There was a bucket of toys in the hall corner that the kids discovered...Abbey and her Daddy.  And Adam liked this little girl.

Jason's sister Kari Walker and Harlie.  She just turned 5.

My portrait of Ethan.  My favorite picture of the day.

Playing trucks together.  Look how much bigger my boy is!!!!  It's so cute to watch.  The other picture is Ethan playing with Uncle Todd....

Sitting with his Daddy to open his gifts...my other favorite picture of the day.  He got some good stuff and Adam wanted to play with a lot of it.  He did pretty good sticking to one that Ethan would share.

Jason, Ethan and Theresa with the cake she made.

Love the dimples!

It was a nice afternoon.  The kids had a blast.

     But...there was something big missing.  Terry.  It didn't feel complete without him there.  Ethan and Harlie were the loves of his life.  His whole face would light up when he talked about them.  He loved getting our kids together with them....he just loved putting Ethan and Adam on his rhino golf cart and you could tell, he had visions of the two of them hanging out fixing Butler trucks with their Dad and Grandpa ten years from now...  I do see Terry in his grandkids.  Guess that's how people's legacies are truly passed down.

Easter Part 2

 After I did the "portrait" session, I gave the kids their baskets.  Nothing big.  The kids have enough stuff and they only need so much chocolate.  This picture of Abbey cracks me up because she looks like a cross between someone from Little House on the Prairie and Alice in Wonderland.  She's watching impatiently as I take too long to open her chocolate.  And there's Adam checking out his latest little garbage truck...a small version of "Rowdy", which he has other versions of.  I grabbed it at Wal-Mart a few weeks ago and Adam saw.  And even when I tucked it away, he asked for it in the check out "Rowdy Mom".  And when we got hom, for two days, he asked me for it, not believing I hadn't bought it.  Guess he was right.

 Working on her rabbit...as you can see, she made headway quickly.

 Chocolate coma!  Her eyes look so pretty here.

 Adam finally decided to open his bunny...while being a bunny...bunny cannibal.

 I ended up having to put Abbey in her high chair as she got so into it.  Her little hands.

 I pulled her hair back and she thought it was so funny when I took this picture....not sure why.

 Adam's other chocolate...a dinosar egg with a baby dinosaur in it.  "Baby dinosaur sleep Mama".  SO cute.  The top shell cracked pretty quickly...he took it better than I thought.

 The look I got when I took what was left of the bunny away.

 We had a nice ham dinner that the kids weren't interested in.  Afterwards, I decided to dress Abbey up in the dress I had intended for her for Easter and take a couple of photos. The kids were tired of the camera so it inly went so well....isn't she pretty?

 It was kind of chilly so I had to grab them quick.

 I asked Adam to give her a hug.  This was cute.

 My favorite photo of Adam for the day.  So handsome.

 Bobby was going to stop by, but he was beat and  I told him not worry about it.  Bolly stopped by with baskets and here's Adam trying out his bubbles.  This is seriously the best look on his face ever...look closely.  Wish the basket was in the way (dinosaur basket!!).

Colin was in town and stopped by in the evening.  Always nice to see him.  It was a nice laid back day.

Last Test

This morning I got up at 5:45 am and headed out to my last (results pending) certification test. I think I passed, but nothing is for certain.  This was the test for my teaching strategy abilities.  My brain goes fuzzy when I read these tests, a far cry from the days when I could whip through this stuff and be one of the first ones done without breaking sweat.  Nope, now I take it once, wrote a rough draft of the essay part, took the multiple choice again, re-wrote the essay, went over the multiple choice a third time and then proofed the essay. But this time, I wasn't the last done.  I was fourth to last.

Only one today, Thank God.

Came home to an Abbey who just hugged me and Adam who followed suit.  Nice :)  Uncle Bobby headed home for a short respite and is right now sitting at my table playing Magic with my husband.  The dork bonding.  I'm drinking a cosmo that has already gotten me tipsy and the manly man are drinking appletinis.

The best part of today?  After I put Adam in for his nap (he's actually sleeping!! Wow) he staring crying I went in there.  MOM!!  Get dressed!  You are dressed Adam.  No.  Arm get dressed.  Oh.  Adam wanted to swap his short sleeve for long sleeves.  Love how he communicates.  :)  Waiting on pizza and wings.  Yeah, we should be eating salads.

Date Night

Last Saturday, Todd and I got wild and decided to go on a date night.  Todd came home Friday night and told me he had reserved a babysitter (Bobby) and did I want to do something. I thought it was really romantic that he did it that way.  I through out a few ideas, including the Turning Stone and we decided on it.

We invited a friend of his to dinner there (Travis, who is responsible for my awesome pink garbage can) as he lives in that area, but he couldn't make it.  We were fine with it being just the two of us.

We decided to start with the nickel slots and true to form (the last time we went there, 4 years ago, was the first time Todd had been) Todd won a few hundred dollars on the second try.  I kept losing.  So I headed to my favorite, the roulette table.  It was still early enough where the minimum was $5, but I wasn't on my game and lost right away.

Well that might have been because Todd and I had had a couple of drinks and after two cosmos, I was a bit buzzed. That's right, the Turning Stone now serves alcohol.  Overpriced drinks, but I was duly impressed when my bartender chilled my glass with ice before serving up the drink.  We stood on the empty dance floor sipping those expensive but tasty drinks....Todd had an appletini and I think the bartender was looking for the other girl :)

I also introduced Todd to the money wheel.

We decided to try one of the restaurants, having looked online ahead of time we knew that The Wildflower had the best reviews.  But a couple of wrong turns and we were further away from it.  We were in the corner with the three other sit down places.  We decided against Chinese and Todd suggested we just pick the first one we go to.  I liked the idea of adventure!

We ended up at the steakhouse.  It was nice as they gave us a table tucked in an alcove.  We ordered two different steaks.  Both were good, but Todd's was amazing.  We got Pelligrino, because why not try something different?  Passed on the wine as nothing sounded good and were way too full for desert.

Afterwards, stuffed, we decided to hit up the floor for a little bit longer.  Todd lost his winnings on the slots, I decided to go back to roulette and Todd went to try his hand at the money wheel.  I was in a better groove and walked away from that table ahead (but still behind) and Todd lost at the money wheel right away.  We were getting tired, but I decided to go crazy and take a couple of bets on the fruit wheel.  I put $5 on the 15 to one odds on my second spin and won $75.  The single largest win I ever had :)

We were ready to go, but they don't make it easy to cash out.  By the time we found the right place, all the smoke had gotten to us and we had twin headaches.  We headed home wishing we'd had Tylenol.  We're pretty exciting people, right?? :)  We listened to Kid Rock, got home a little past 9pm and Bobby headed home.

Adam was still up, though Bobby thought he was asleep so I went in to tuck him in "MOMMY" he said in a stage whisper, his whole face lighting up.  "Good Night!"

I had a wonderful, romantic date night (I had reminded Todd on the way there that the last time we had gone was because we were trying to get some grown-up things in before Adam was born....and he was right!).  No kid talk.  Just hanging out together.  But it's also nice to come home to those little chubby cheeks, crazy curls and big smiles.  So the best part is that I feel lucky...I have so much...I have a loving husband, great kids and amazing friends.

No matter the other challenges I'm facing, these things keep me grounded.

Hanging Out at the Palmer Palace

I wanted more Tikka.  We had plans for last Monday, but we switched them to Wednesday.  Tammy didn't have time to cook, so I was coming over for a diet soup her Dad made.  Then, I was asked if I wanted a custom omelet.  Mr. Palmer makes one for Tammy every day.  Um, I said YES!  Spinach, bacon and green peppers.  It was really good.  And Tammy made me a latte.  It was really good...!  Nice to get cooked for (I stole these photos again from Tammy's blog).

The kids had eaten most of their food on their way their and kept themselves busy.  It's nice they are getting older so I don't have to worry every second their going to break something. Just every other second.  There were still decorations up from Easter.  Mrs. Palmer is a holiday decorating queen.  That includes giant bunnies like this that Tammy actually bought her mom as a gift.  Abbey was too cute...she loved that it sang Here Comes Peter Cottontail....you had to touch the bowtie to get it to work...but didn't want to be next to it when it started...so she'd hit his belly and run :)

So we did it for her :)  She loved it.  Adam did, too, dancing to it.  Was so cute.

Miss Abigail goofing off while Mommy eats. She cleaned half the floor scooting around.

Surprise Mommy!!  She likes to do this at home, too.  A lot of the time the kids had their faces pressed up against the sliding glass door like Fresh Air Fund kids....dying to go outside.  When I told Adam where we were going that morning, he said "WEEEEE TAMMY!!"  (That would be slide sounds.)

Having fun...while Abbey was busy breaking a lawn ornament and sitting in time out. Sigh.  Was cute because Adam told Tammy to sit in the porch swing like she had one before.  He does like his routines!

But we still had some fun!! She loves those swings!!  Another fun day at Tammy's!

Tikka With Tammy

 A few weeks ago, having missed our lunches since Tammy went to weekdays, I asked if she wanted to grab lunch before work.  She volunteered to cook for me.  I wanted to try her homemade tikka.  When we were roommates a long, long time ago we ate tikka masala from a jar more than I'd like to admit. It's been years since I've seen that brand, which was the best.  Anyhow, Tammy's was good.  Even without the naan bread (or tortilla) we loved for years with our Indian food.  Really good.  I wanted seconds.  And I cleaned out that bowl.  Meanwhile, Adam was happy with his happy meal.  Chicky nuggets Mama!

 Abbey did, too.  She worked hard on that juice box.

 We took them outside.  They were so excited!  Abbey headed up the slide.

 So cute...did I mention that I stole these photos from Tammy's blog?

 Abbey's love of swings continues into another year.  I pushed her and then she was interested in doing this...and eating the dirt.  That's my girl.

 He's so proud...he can do it himself.

 Abbey got Mama to push her some more.  They just LOVE Tammy's house!!