Abbey's First Day of School

 I had been talking about Abbey's first day school for awhile.  She had picked out her Rapunzel back pack and I could tell she was excited and nervous.  When Uncle Bobby arrived ten minutes early, she freaked out and wanted to go RIGHT AWAY.  I had to do her hair and put her pants on and she was so impatient.  Look at her at the door!!  But she was a little confused...as much as her speech has improved, she can still be hard to communicate with about new things.  She thought she was getting in Bobby's car and freaked out when I put her in ours.  She was excited and overwhelmed at that point.  Here she is in the driveway, wanting Mom to HURRY UP!

 We got to school and I could see she remembered it from our tour as she relaxed a little.  This is as we were going in and this picture captures her feelings EXACTLY....nervous and excited.

 I saw her muster herself and she was ready to tackle this.  But I knew once I went to leave, things would go downhill.  We walked and she did well.  Got to her classroom and she walked around to check it out.  Then I went to leave and she followed me out.  She was headed to the emergency exit so I picked her up and put her back in the room and shut the door so a teacher wouldn't have to.  She  started yelling.  I went to the reception area where they let me watch on a camera.  She had a tantrum for a bit, but it was worse when she got sad and crying and flung herself in front of the window.  I told them some things she likes and I saw they distracted her with some purses and she was calmer much more quickly than I anticipated.

I left after watching for 20 minutes or so, assured she was OK.  I was nervous all morning as I thought about my girl.  Five hours is a long time.  I missed her and worried about her, knowing though this is best for her.  I timed it so I got there right on time so as not to upset her as she saw me, with the other kids in tow.  I guess other parents were early and she was sad on the playground.  She wouldn't eat all day and she cried on and off.  Way worse than hearing she had tantrums, to be honest.  They suggested I let her bring in comforting things.  I took her to get ice cream to cheer her up.  She looked so sad.

Later she told me NO SCHOOL.  She wouldn't sleep that night until I told her she didn't have school the next day.  Her anxiety was high.  Not sure how tomorrow will go.  But I know once she can settle in, she'll be OK.  I am worried for her, but I want her to have the self confidence of independence....  My big girl Abbey.