Monday

My muscles are yelling at me; angry because I've pushed too hard this evening.  You start to feel better and just keep going.  Bobby was here for a lot of today, which was a huge help.  He helped me give the kids a bath and then took them to the playground.  That 45 minutes they were gone gave me a sorely needed rest time.   Hard to believe just four days ago I had the surgery.

Today, my mom and my sister Carolyn sent me these flowers.  It was nice timing.  I have moments were I get a little upset and wish I didn't have to deal with this, but fortunately, those times are decreasing.  I know I did the right thing, but if I dwell I get frustrated that I have to deal with it.  But I remind myself I have many great things to look forward to in life and this will not hold me back.  I should be able to do it all and do it better and one little pill isn't going to stop me.  And the disappearance of my constant hot flashed and cystic neck acne are a good start in making me feel better about all this.

I have a confession:  I was eagerly awaiting the return of Sister Wives.  Was kind of not as good.  Not sure why. Mad Men is losing a little steam for me the last couple of episodes.  Today during nap time, I watched American Psycho.  I had seen it years ago and read the book.  It is still a weird and amazing example of 80's satire.

So, maybe I'm a little paranoid that my neck could burst open. I realize it's unlikely but there's nothing holding it together, really.

So tired.  Really exhausted.

Vicodin helps the pain but it puts me out in those weird sleeps where you hear things and you kind of know you're not fully asleep.  Only took half a of one today.