Happy (Slightly Belated) Birthday Pam

On Monday, the same day as my brother Bobby, one of my oldest and dearest friends, Pamela Sue (Rusho) Netti turned 35 (before me YEAH!). Pam and I first met briefly in fifth grade. I was the only fifth grader in our tiny class of ten "gifted" kids after the school district divided the program in "half"...meaning west side kids now stayed on the west side. Anyhow, I went to Lanigan and one of the few faces I remember to this day from the rest of the kids is Pam. Tall, pretty, popular the girls all wanted to be her friend and the boys wanted to get her attention. And she was smart AND good at sports. I bet she doesn't remember dorky me, who was down the hall in our weird little class area.

In junior high school, i became close to a good friend of hers and started hanging out in the same "circle". Going to some of the same silly parties where you hope the boy you "like" is there. Bonfires and basements and school dances, that was our social life through our freshman year. Pam always had some boy in love with her. To THIS day, there are two guys who if I run into, they are like How's Pam, How's Pam? in kind of a puppy dog way.

Our senior year, we started to hang out a lot after my boyfriend went to college and I got my head out of my ass a little, stuck in Course 3 math together, which for that year had a "lab", we both hated it. It seemed like through out high school, we always had classes together, including Mr. Roy's tenth grade global studies that was so boring, if it weren't for her, I would have been put into a coma.

(By the way...my kids love her....we went and saw her out at Chaumont three times last summer and grumpy Abbey only let her hold her and Adam just loved how he followed her around so he could explore!)

I was scheduled for a college interview at LeMoyne College (where I went my freshman year...long story) and my mother, being my mother, was having a VERY bad spell. She told me the night before she did not think she could leave the house and drive me there. My mind went to Pam, my one friend that had a car to use that I felt comfortable enough asking. Her mom let her skip school, and she drove me there. My mom gave us lunch money and we decided to go crazy and go to Red Lobster. What was amazing that day was that at 17 years old, Pam did not ask me a ton of questions or make a single comment about my less than stable mother. She did it without much comment and we turned the day into a trip, going to dinner and feeling very grown-up. She probably didn't realize it, but she had more than earned my loyalty.

We spent a lot of time together the summer after graduation, making regular trips to her family's camp on Chaumont Bay, which is one of my MOST favorite places in the world. Vacations during college were spent mostly with Pam and the summer between our sophomore and junior years we went to some family owned resort in New Hampshire kind of like Dirty Dancing but smaller and without most of the hot staff. She was the office manager and I was the hostess, two of the few Americans working there. We slept in a CHICKEN HOUSE and Pam did my laundry in the HAND CRANK washer in the basement of the barn because I was TERRIFIED of the giant spiders that live in New Hampshire. Once again, Pam just did it. She knew how hard it was for me to be there as at the time I was very scared of arachnids. We spent the summer drinking A LOT and having a blast complaining about cleaning cabins and taking road trips. And it was the first summer I discovered my love of photography as Pam had a pretty good camera I basically used the whole summer. We drove around in her purple Geo Tracker that summer and the following summer in the Adirondacks and it was great.

Also that summer, Pam fell for her husband Greg. She married him in October of 1997 and I was so honored to be her maid of honor (and i looked pretty good in the dress!). It was one of the most beautiful receptions I had ever seen, held at the Sherwood Inn. A year later, she had her daughter Katie and then moved to Buffalo for her husband's job, juggling a one year old and commuting to help her mother through cancer treatments. Yes, she had stressed out moments. But I never heard her complain about helping her mom, only wish she could do more.

We've gone to FOUR (or was it 5) Billy Joel concerts together by the way! And she makes me laugh. We always have something to laugh about... she taught me about mascara and I did her hair to go pick up guys.

In the last decade, there have been many changes in both of our lives. After my separation, the week after, I drove out to her house and she did my laundry and I slept sitting up on her couch too upset to go to bed. She never once raised an eyebrow at what awful shape I was in, let me talk and acted like my constant tears and fears were perfectly normal and OK. And when I found the love of my life and had both my children, she was right there supporting me.

There are times where we go months without seeing each other, but every time we do it's like we never left off. Pam has been a loyal friend who always accepted me exactly for who I am. She is a strong woman who has always juggled a lot. She is always thinking of the people in her life and trying to do the right thing. Pam is an amazing mother who puts Katie first all the time.

I am so lucky that Pam in my life and that our friendship took a turn at a time when most people drift a part, we became closer. There is no doubt in my mind that until the day I die I can call up Pam and complain about my day and she will listen...that I can say let's get a drink and we'll head to a good dinner and have a glass.

We once drunkenly agreed that "Scenes from an Italian Restuarant" was our song. It really does fit us... We aren't really the sappy type so this whole post is out of character BUT I realized in the last few years I need to make sure the people I care about know it.

'A bottle of red, a bottle of white,
Whatever kind of mood you're in tonight
I'll meet you anytime you want
In our Italian Restaurant'

These photos are from the end of last November. As you can see, my kids love her.


Happy Birthday Dear Friend!!