Miss Abbey's September

I didn't know what to expect with the changes.  Abbey is very attached to Adam, but I knew she'd relish more time with me.  Somehow, while I've been focused on the fact that Adam is growing up, she is, too.

She is so cute here...we went over to Erin's house one morning (she has four kids and this is the first time I was in her house without them!).  While we were talking and the kids were looking for her kids, Abbey rustled up Daniel's bike helmet and put it on.  And even buckled it.  Ever seen anything so cute?

I knew this was a good chance to get Abbey better at going places and not getting upset.  In July, I had taken them to the bank and she FLIPPED OUT.  She was having such a tantrum, she broke a name plate with her head while I was trying to hold her.  So I wasn't sure what to expect when I took her back.  I did go to the other branch that is bigger and wide open.  And she did really well.  I could even let go of her hand and she didn't run away.  That never happens.  She did try to ride the rope like a horse, but who can blame her?

I decided to start doing Wednesday story hour at the library with her.  I had gone a few times in the past with Erin and her kids, but it was so chaotic trying to keep up with both kids.  Abbey sat right down and played with the blocks.  Soon, the other kids joined her.  I have noticed that other kids, especially little girls, are drawn to her.

She played well.  Both of my kids are good at not yanking things from other kids, having gotten in so much trouble for doing it to each other!  I made her sit in my lap for story hour, not knowing what to expect.  She didn't yell or cry at all and actually stopped squirming enough to half listen to the third story.  Abbey also participated in the craft, washed her hands and sat down at the snack table.  She did way better than I expected.  Of course, it wouldn't be Abbey if she didn't take off twice near the end into the adult section and an old lady scolded me and her.  I said she's only two, I'm trying to stop her.   Overall, Abbey doesn't talk as much as the other kids, like Adam, but she has a natural comfort in social situations I admire.

And then there's the playground.  Adam's school has a playground that the kids love.  And we all know when Abbey wants to do something, she lets the world know.  We've had several days where she was having a tantrum because I told her no, we weren't going.  I have explained to her that some days we will and some days we won't.  So fun to walk down the sidewalk with her yelling and trying to throw herself to the ground and Adam dragging behind, whining.

But she is getting better.  She is no longer yelling for it the minute I pull up.  She is learning to be patient as we sign in and walk down to get Adam.  When he comes running out, she leans in every day to kiss him :) So cute.  

I have told them both if they want to go, they cannot start whining and crying.  It makes me feel better that I hear almost every parent having the same conversation with their kid about it.  It's just that when Abbey's not happy, EVERYONE knows.  That's the main difference.

This is from earlier in the week.  So happy to be on the swings. After a few weeks, I've also got her not to throw a tantrum when we leave. I told her if she does, we won't go the next day.  Overall, I feel like I'm having more success heading off her fits.  It seems to me to be a combination of all the work I've put into it, our new time alone together and the fact that she is....growing up.

More time together has allowed me to enjoy more of the great things about her.  Like how when she smiles, she lights up a room.  And how she loves to tease and be teased.  How when she hugs you, you feel so loved.  And when people see me walking down the hall with her, they all smile and say how adorable she is.  And she is.  Until she's not ;)  And while I do miss Adam, of course, I am really liking this Mama and Abbey time.

 PS I had to throw this in.  Adam found a way to play Humpty Dumpty on the playground.  I've explained to him that the wall is too high to throw himself from, so I've had to "drop" him a few times.  Man, you should have seen his face when he realized it looked like Humpty's wall.

The Bus Stops Here

Pre-school has been full of ups and downs.  Adam loves it, but he is the only 3 year old going on 4 in the class.  And he still acts 3. The teacher was shocked to find that he was the only kid who could count all the numbers on the calendar, but he needs help processing directions.  And this is a class of 20 with only two adults.  That is the largest pre-school class I've ever seen.  The emphasis on socialization skills in our society over academic ability is why the middle school kids I worked with last year could barely write a sentence.

The corner in front of my bedroom is the bus stop and I couldn't sleep pat 6:45 am if I wanted to.  I could hear half of what they say word for word if I wanted to.

I cannot believe it's almost October.  September basically disappeared.  Jackie had her little girl Annaleise on Monday and two weeks before my sister Sarah had her daughter, Julianna.

The night before last, people spent ALL night yelling "ROCKY" in our neighborhood.  At first, I was getting annoyed but at 4:30 am, I felt bad for them.   They were clearly desperate to find a missing pet.

Yesterday, Abbey dressed herself  up in three princess dresses, covered herself in jewelry and answered to Princess Abigail.  She was watching out the window and when she saw her Dad's truck pull in, she ran to the back and I let her outside.  She ran down to him, jumping him into his arms and giving him a big hug.  It was a sweet and wonderful moment in a stretch of a somewhat stressful week or two.

Today, I am taking her to story hour while Adam is at school.  I am trying to teach her to stay calm in new situations and to start the process of socialization.  Guess she needs it.

Cottage Life

Two Wednesdays ago, I closed on the cottage.  I told Todd that morning I was anxious, but as the day wore on, I realized I was excited.  Like a little kid the night before Christmas excited.  I went to the lawyer's office and came out with the keys.  I was ready to go there.

The next morning, I loaded up the kids and went up.  We had to turn off the breaker so the power could be turned on, but I really kind of thought I'd sneak up there anyhow.  

So... here it is.  The front door faces the private drive.  The bay is behind it and I am standing on the two acres in front of the old garage that we own.  It became clear fairly quickly that the land makes this place for the kids.

Adam headed to the willow trees on the yard side.

Abbey's new pass time is to pick up the rocks and put them in the survey post.  She actually checks every time she goes by to make sure the rocks are still there.

So Adam gets in there and starts saying "Oh Lorax!"

"There he is!"  (Then in another voice)  "I am the Lorax! I speak for the trees!"

We've been back twice, spending the last two Saturday nights there.  He heads to the Lorax tree a lot.  He also decided some gnome in the garden is the Lorax.

Here is a photo of the side of the garage...it faces the Lorax tree.  The kids LOVE that Santa is on it.  It's a bit rough and really needs a roof.  We are letting a neighbor store his boat in there for the winter...apparently he has paid to do it with the old owner.  He got my number from the guy around the corner that a guy down the street suggested I call to see if they'd take out our dock.  Yeah, it's Mayberry.  His name is Jim and he visited us this past Saturday night and told us all the gossip...including how the owners before the James Gates guy loved it and when the husband died, the wife sold it because he lied and said he'd use it for his family.  Apparently turning it into a rental was not popular in that neighborhood.  Explains all the nice woodwork in the cottage.

I am standing in the middle of the yard and that's Abbey in the center and the cottage to the left.  The kids love how they can run around and have fun.  And I can relax a little.  I don't feel like if they run off, something terrible is going to happen to them in two seconds.  Bailey loves the freedom, too.  That first day she ran all over and when I went to apologise to Bob, the year-round resident two doors down, he told me all the dogs run free.  This past weekend, she was TOO free, rolling in some disgusting rotting fish or manure. RIGHT into the bathtub with a not very happy Todd!

Close up of Abbey sorting.  She is a big sorter, organizer and collector.

In the background, you can see the semi-abandoned cottage next door.  It's the only mess on the block and isn't used.  To the right, there is shed turned into a bunkhouse.  Great place for guests who want privacy, though the bunk beds in there look like hell to sleep on.  Actually, so far, that's been our only real issue.  There are two tiny bedrooms and we've been putting the kids into each and sleeping in the living room.  The pullout was hell the first night. This past weekend, we each slept on a couch.  Not much better.  Todd took a nap on the double bed, and apparently it's supported with plywood.  So, we have to rethink how we will do this in the future.  For this weekend, we're going to put the kids in the living room near the heat since poor Abbey kept waking up and I didn't realize she was cold until I went in there and saw she had torn an old bedspread off the bed next to her and pulled it into her playpen to cover herself.

Standing on the side deck looking at our dock.  Love this area back here with the old tree and stone wall.  Needs some love.  All the landscaping and grounds do.  We had a campfire out here both nights. One of my MOST favorite things to do to relax.

Bobby came down that first Saturday to start weed wacking.  This is a cat tail area and in addition, the dry season has made it worst.  Jim down the road told us how it used to look when his friends owned it.  Like the pictures I stole from that guy's website.  They just never stayed on top of it.  Holly came out with Todd after work that day and her and Bobby went back to together that evening.  Bobby was too sick to come back out this past weekend, but Holly came up with Ron and spent the night.  Except, they slept in their car because the bunkhouse bed was too awful!  Yikes.  Felt kind of bad.  We would have prepared better had we known they were coming!!

Love this dock.  The kids do, too.  Especially Abbey.  She takes my hand and pulls me down it.  She sits at the end and would crawl down the ladder if I let her.  The bay is remarkably clear compared to the lake around here.

Adam playing "Ten Monkeys Jumping on the Bed".  That's another thing they love.  The rules are less.  There are no closed doors to them in this house and they can go outside and run around.  Adam was very excited when we got there this weekend "Lorax Tree!  Hi Cottage!".  Miss Abbey was saying SCHOOL SCHOOL all happy.  Guess she decided to call it that since we've been talking about school so much.  We love how much they love it.  And we do, too.  Todd says he feels relaxed there, and that is very important to me.  He works hard and deserves it.

Abbey asked to take a nap that first weekend.  She never went to sleep, but she was tired.  They both were by the time they went to bed both nights.  All that running around and fresh air.

I didn't take my camera at all this past weekend.  I found the weekend before I just took these last few.  It's busy out there.  We did our first cook out and I drove to the Chaumont IGA to get supplies...only to have to drive back to the area to get condiments (taking Abbey with me on the second trip).  Todd and I toasted cheeseburgers and looking forward to many fond years at our cottage.

But, boy, am I tired when I get back!

Sick and Miserable

I'm sick.  And whiny about it.  I feel awful, like my nose and head will explode.  But the worst thing is that my teeth hurt.  There's so much pressure in my sinuses, it's making my mouth throb.

We went to the cottage for the first time.  I have posts planned, but just don't have the focus.  Right now,just staring at this is making my head hurt. I spend like 40 minutes in the little bathroom trying to get the steam to make my head clear up.  Maybe it worked a little?  I'm so uncomfortable, sleep isn't a great option. Todd is sick, too and poor Adam but this time, I seemed to get the worst.  I mean, both of them are fast asleep.  Is just me or can men sleep through anything?

Auction Date...Fulton Style

Last Saturday, we went to the annual Oswego County Delinquent Tax Property auction.  A parcel of property next to Todd's business was up....it's a corner lot that he owns either side of that his Dad sold many years ago, so we went for that.  Usually, this auction is at the BOCES building in Mexico and done by a local auction company.  This year, an auctioneer out of New York City got the bid and it was held in ....Fulton.  Yeah, the War Memorial where I hadn't set foot since my high school graduation. 

When we got there, the line was long.  Looooong.  Apparently, they were doing a metal detector and pat downs.  In Fulton.  At the Oswego County tax auction.  Gossip moved up and down that line for the 45 minutes or so we stood in it.  People talking about....but not talking about the properties they want...wanting to chat but not show their hand.  The woman in front of confided to me that her husband's moving company needed one of the warehouses in Hannibal. (Unfortunately, they did not get it.)  My favorite moment was one the family that owns The Won-Ton House cut in line near the front with a local slumlord.  A guy in the back yelled out to the them and when the guy said We're Together, the angry citizen said YOU BETTER BE GETTING ONE NUMBER.  He lied and said yes, while his wife held their small child and pretended she didn't speak English.

We finally get through security and then we register, both of us, just in case.  Todd is talking to people left and right, apparently this is an event for many local entrepreneurs.  It began late, over an hour late, after eleven.  There were 117 properties.

We kept our eye on a few things, including a house that was once in Bethany's family, but it went way too high.  Todd had an employee and our sister-in-law were both nearby, trying to get a home for his family and she a rental, for income.  They both got what they needed.  I was VERY excited for the guy...he was raising his three kids and a grandkid and was so excited over the trailer he bid on.

The auctioneer was fast.  It was hard to tell when he was saying the most recent bid and trying to up the ante.  It was hot and stuffy and fairly full.

 The moment of the day was when another one of Todd's employees, sitting across from us got the winning bid of $50,000 on one of the nicest properties there, a fairly new home.  His wife burst into tears, first because she thought she lost and then because she thought she won.  Half the gym was looking at her, feeling her emotion.  Even Todd got teary.  They have baby twins which she spent most of her pregnancy on bed rest with.  I had met her when I was in the hospital having Abbey and she was there, a few months along.  I walked across the room to congratulate her, moved by her obvious excitement at having a home for her children.

And some guy bought five parcels of land in Amboy that totaled FIVE HUNDRED acres for $226,000.  He was from Connecticut and told locals he was a bird watcher.  The people we spoke to were wary because he drove...a Volvo.  The believe he will log it and dump it.  But in Connecticut, that is a STEAL for property.

It finally got to our property and a MOTORCYCLE club was bidding on it!  Todd had heard that they wanted a clubhouse there.  We got it, more than we had thought between the club and another guy, but we did.  We talked to the MC guys in line...they had no idea it was too small to build a clubhouse on or that Todd would want it.  We stood in THAT line...the buyer line...for a long time, making more friends.

This was Todd's third year.  I had gone two years before.  We were there until after 4pm.  I'm kind of getting hooked on auctions.

First Day of Pre-School

I was actually nervous for Adam's first day.  Like it was my first day.  Being a parent is so nuts, how you feel for them.  I even hemmed and hawed on what he should wear!

Uncle Bobby came over at 8:30am to watch Abbey, who was not happy with the situation.  She knew what was up.  But I finally got Adam out the door, posed him outside...to realize my camera battery was dead.  Well, I decided, it's probably good I won't have it distracting him in his face....he doesn't really care for it!

We pulled up and Adam said "YEAH! Thanks Mom! School!" :)

He was excited to run up to the door.  But trying to get him to LOOK at my phone while I tried to snap a photo with my camera was VERY hard with balloons there.  He looks like such a big boy!

 OK Mom, let's go.  This is such a goofy look.  He wanted to go in!  He was so excited to walk down the hall, down the stairs and to his classroom.  I had begun telling him about how Mom would stay for a little while, but would have to leave.  Adam handles news better when you prepare him.

 Someone had already gotten this toy out and after we went over and took his coat and bag off, he headed right for those letters for a few minutes.  He was feeling shy, but not nervous.  He walked around a bit, making sure I stayed close.

 Then he spotted a Mr. Potato Head.  He was in love.  He stood there for some time, playing.  I saw a lot of the other boys were in a group playing with big cardboard blocks.  Adam looked at them and laughed when they did something silly.  So I asked him if he wanted to go join them. No, Mom, Mr. Potato Head.  Mom, he's going for a walk!  He has a house!  Message was clear.  Adam was more interested in his imagination play then joining that group of boys.  I thought that's what would happen.  He loves to pretend play a lot.  When the teacher came over, Adam didn't want to talk to her, though I really tried to make him.  I told her I knew it was best for Adam I leave and she should tell me when she thought the best time was.

 Here's a quick shot the classroom as most of the parents filter out.  The woman in pink has been fairly friendly.  Her son Parker will be 5 in December and it's amazing how those eleven months make him seem SO much older.  She has been nice, encouraging Parker to include Adam.

Miss Elizabeth came over about 9:30am and told Adam Mommy was leaving and he'd stay with her.  He looked down and was a but sullen, but said bye Mom.  I was pretty proud of him.  No tears or whining.  I left and got a bit teary, but stopped at the sign-in desk to warn the lady when I came back with my temperamental toddler, I may night ot be able to sign my own name.

 I went outside and sat in the car for ten minutes, in case I got some frantic phone call that I knew deep down wasn't going to come.  It was weird leaving him there (But I do love the old school feel here...don't you love the entrance?).  I went home and sent Bobby to work.  I felt strange and the house felt empty.

When I went to pick him up, I kept telling Abbey we were going to go to Adam's school to get him, to try and head off the freaking out she did the last time I walked her into that building.  I was proud of her.  She didn't like the dark and crowded vestibule, but she worked through saying "school, school" (so cute!) when I kept reminding her we were going to get Adam.

We got downstairs and waited outside the room for Adam to come.  "MOM!" he said and ran out when they sent him (they do it one at a time for security).  Abbey was SO happy to see him.  I asked the TA how he did.  "OK" she said.  Believe it or not, I spent hours analyzing that.  As the day wore on, I realized that OK probably meant nothing...she was so busy with kids, there wasn't time for a conversation.  I was over analyzing it because my real problem was that for two hours of Adam's life I had no idea what happened.  That's a hard thing for me.

I emailed the teacher later a photo I took.  She replied, telling me Adam had done fairly well for the first day but he was uncomfortable with her taking his photo.  I had to chuckle...that's from me, I told her, he hates his Mom with her camera.  She said it would take time to get used to the group setting.  He seemed like the only one who hadn't been in pre-school or daycare before.  He's also one of the youngest.

But when Adam started asking to go to school Tuesday morning, I knew it was going to work out.  He even put his shoes on at dinner time and got upset when I told him he'd have to wait.  We will probably put him five days a week a bit, to help prepare him for next year.

For the first time ever, when I asked Adam what he did, he told me.  Getting him to answer questions is tough and something I knew would be hard for the teacher, too.  But after one day, he did it for me.  I was surprised and excited to hear him tell me that he ate a juice box and played with cars.  Big milestone for him!  And me.

I could feel myself being more OK with not knowing everything that he did.  Because I felt like he'd tell me.

Pre-School Test Run

Last Thursday night, I went to the Meet the Teacher night for parents from 6-7 p.m.  I didn't realize it was a formal meeting, but I was there on time.  The room was full of parents, many of who knew each other from having other kids in the school or from 3 year old pre-school.  The teacher, Miss Elizabeth, is probably in her late 20s with pre-school teacher energy.  Her assistant, Mrs. Pelo spent some time talking to me, too.  They were good at making me feel like they cared.  I asked about how they want us to handle kids who aren't used to be separated from parents, and in this I was in the vast minority, it seemed.  She said we'd take it as things went. 

So I was ready for the next morning, Meet the Teacher with the kids at 10:30am.

Adam was excited about going to school.  He got his backpack out.  

 And Mommy did the Mommy thing...

 Adam was skating around the back room, buzzing with excitement.  Poor Abbey realized what was going on...she got sad and temperamental.  Uncle Bobby was on hand to help her through it.

 Let's go!  Mom stop with the camera!

 He refused to pose without a full view of his backpack :)

 Adam was at my side and when the little boy in green, Nico offered him a car and both boys welcomed him, he sat down to play, checking to make sure I was right there.   The room was pretty wild with all these kids (20!) and parents.

 Then Adam discovered the play sand box and got pretty excited.  Then the teacher played the "clean-up" song.  Adam had never heard it, but I have to say, he did a good job picking up.

 Here we are at our table, with five girls and one other boy.  Adam struggled to stay in his seat.  He always does.

 Miss Elizabeth invited them to story time.  Adam did pretty good, but got up to run and give me a hug a couple of times.

 Afterwards, they were giving a circle to draw their faces on because the book was all about everyone being an individual.  Adam knew where to put each feature, but his artistry skills needs some work :)  I knew that, though.  He's not that into coloring or drawing.  And when he was done, he wanted to get out of his seat.  Done, he kept saying.  Just like at home.  Sigh.  Then they whipped out the snack and he was all set to sit.  Can't beat juice boxes and goldfish!

 I sneaked a snap of his little name plate over his coat hook :)

 Adam wasn't intimidated by other kids, but he wasn't too interested in talking to them, either.

 Miss Elizabeth handing out a snack mix to take home.  That's Mrs. Pelo in the foreground.

 A close-up of Adam's name at his table.  I could tell he liked the classroom and the whole idea of school.  Wasn't that keen on talking to the teacher, but I think he'll warm up.  Near the end, he started singing "accidents happen" so I freaked out and ran him to the potty.  Mom, he said, accidents happen! And pointed to his shirt where he had spilled his drink box.  Oh, OK.  Adam was not impressed with my over reacting.  I left there excited for him and getting a taste of a whole new world that he is about to enter.....

Walking the A-Team

We've done a lot of walks this spring and summer.  If we don't go somewhere or do something, most days we go outside and usually take a walk around the block.  It goes something like this....

Here's three of the neighbor kids: Nathan, Abby and Jonathon.  They like to play light sabers lately outside.  If they are out, I have to keep a firm hold on my kids not to run across the street!

Usually, Adam walks Bailey.  I have to firmly keep Abbey's hand or who knows where's she go, but Adam is pretty darn good at staying on the sidewalk and taking care of his responsibilities with Bailey.  I ask him each time if he wants the responsibility of Bailey.  All but once, he has said yes.

These were taken last week and that day, Adam didn't want to leave his book "Not My Monster".  He actually got grumpy with me when I told him that no, I couldn't read it while we were taking a walk.  Reminds me of....me.  I always wanted to take a book everywhere.

He'll take off running with Bailey and come back.  Look at my big boy.

At the first corner, there is a waterfall in some one's yard that has fascinated Adam all summer.  I've had to struggle to keep him out of their yard. It's Adam's first "landmark"on our walk.  Lately, it's been turned off and Adam informs me it's broke.

We turn the corner and Adam usually starts running "MR. POTATO HEAD MOM! Come on!"  An elderly neighbor placed this in her tree and early this summer, Adam pronounced it to be Mr. Potato Head.  Sometimes, I make him talk to Adam, who talks back.  "Hi Adam How Are you?" and Adam answers.  Abbey wants me to pick her up and she grins and points 'See it!" she says in her little Abbey squeal.  Once their sprinkler was on and Adam has asked many times since if Mr. Potato Head will be taking a shower again.  This morning, he "pet him" by rubbing the tree.  I'm sure we look nuts.  The woman who did it came out a couple of times and told me she just loves how much joy they get out of it.

In the tree next door is this bird house.  The kids have been waiting for a bird to come out.

On occasion, once we round the second corner and get off of Seneca St., I will let Abbey free.  She's so far not gone too far.  She's finally learning?

"Come on MOM!  Let's find Mr. Prickle Pants!"  Adam heads off to his favorite spot.  But there's a few things before we get there...

Lately, he's been stopping at this fire hydrant and wanting to know what it does.  So I tell him.  Each time.

Next up...this graffiti.  Abbey points to it! "see it!" she says.

But THIS is what Adam is waiting for.  More graffiti.  To Adam, this is Mr. Prickle Pants from Toy Story 3... a porcupine in pants.  Abbey loves it, too.

She points.  "See it?" and I lift her up and she grins and says "byyyee".

Around the corner, this house had a dog planter and a rock with a painted smiley on it.  Or to Adam, Slinky Dog from Toy Story and Sparkles from Toy Story 3.  Except that Sparkles is really Buttercup the unicorn, but I told him the name was Sparkles and it stuck.  The rock disappeared a few weeks ago and as of this morning, slinky dog was gone.   Adam was standing there scratching his head "Where he go?"  I said taking a nap....

Back up the Cayuga Street block and around the corner into our driveway...the kids running around a bit in there own space.  Abbey likes to collect leaves and flowers.

And if she's in an Abbey mood, she likes to crunch up those leaves.

This post was important to me.  It's a documentation of something we do all the time, but is simple.  Something that could get forgotten over the test of time.  And it's a big illustration of Adam's HUGE imagination.