Getting Ellie/Part 2 THE SURGERY!

The first open OR time was 12:30.  It was 10:30 when we made the final choice.  It was a long wait. (Though I knew it could have been much longer).  Having to lay there on my breaking back was awful.   The pain was like being in labor.  And my chest got tight.  It could have been anxiety or probably, as it turns out, was the baby moving back and forth and crushing my chest.  

They prepped me for the procedure.  Cleaned my stomach, but these circulation pumps on my legs and gave me a catheter.  On a full bladder.  Which was awful.  I was trying not to panic.  Focusing on the end result.  Reminding myself this was for the best.  Looking on the bright side...no labor!  The anesthesiologist came in and I told him how nervous I was.  He told me he used to be a psychiatrist and he could smell anxiety five miles away.  It was the perfect thing for him to say.  Knowing that my anxiety didn't irritate him or annoy him really helped.  He was very supportive then and in the OR.

Todd put on his surgery outfit and then suddenly it was after noon and it was time to go to the OR.  They pushed me in my bed, leaving Todd in the hallway.  There were A LOT of people in there, including a nurse, Candace, who had been with me since the morning, who was there to hold my hands.  Basically hold me down when they put the spinal in.  And I knew instinctively that a handful of those people were there to hold me down if need be as it is dangerous to move while they do it.

It was time to do the spinal, which I had been terrified of since my failed epidural with my first labor.  And the memory of feeling the needle catheter down my leg freaked me out.  But they kept me talking and distracting, promising to tell me about each step.  And I surprised myself, and the staff, how calm I stayed.  It wasn't that bad.  I didn't feel like I did the last time.  The nurses kept me talking about Adam and Abbey, which was smart.  

Then that part was done and I laid back, focusing on not freaking out when I couldn't feel my legs, the other thing I was scared of.  But I was OK.  I got number and then they put the surgical drape up and an oxygen mask on my face.  It seemed they were starting and I didn't see Todd.  It was my only moment of panic...I started telling them not to start without my husband.  And someone hurried him in. We were ready to have a baby.

The last thing I had been so scared of is that everyone says you feel "tugging and pulling".  I pictured it being more of a sensation than it was.  It really didn't bother me.  I asked Todd if he could see anything, but he said he just saw the backs of people's heads.  I started asking if he could see her.  And then they said she was out.  But she didn't cry so I felt a moment of panic.  But they assured me she was fine.  I asked if she had ten fingers and ten toes and what her APGAR score was (8 and then 9).  Then she was there, Todd held her in front of my face and I fell in love and kissed her little face.  It does happen like that.  All cheesy...like suddenly she is so real and you just love her so much.  I saw all that thick black hair and I knew that was what she looked like.

And then Todd left with her, having promised me he wouldn't leave her side and they sewed me up.  I asked a few questions about what they were doing out of curiosity.  Then I was being wheeled out and I thanked everyone and off to the recovery room I went.

I had three nurses monitoring me for the hour as two were training.  And did I mention I was the ONLY person in the ENTIRE maternity ward that day???  At one point they called over a doctor to talk to me about my chest pain...and his name was Dr. Ellie.  We hadn't picked a name yet, but I took it as a sign that Ellie was where we should go.  

After getting some feeling back, they took me to my room.  It had gone fine.  Everything had worked out.