Grandma Mary Again

Wednesday morning I sent Grandma flowers. I called the floral shop right after it opened to order. Something elegant, I said, because that's what Grandma likes, to the woman who was all excited to tell me that she went to ELEMENTARY school with Todd and how she lived only a block from us and did we still have that bird they used to hear. The small town chatter I usually enjoyed was something I couldn't get into....I just wanted her to send the flowers because in the back of my mind, I felt like every second this woman spent talking (she gushed about Todd...I started to wonder if there was a discount in there some where???) was one more change Grandma wouldn't even see the flowers I was sending. I wasn't trying to be dramatic, it's just how I felt.

I stopped by that evening for 20 minutes on my way home. Grandma was pretty with it, actually more awake than the on Monday, though it was earlier in the evening. We held a conversation and she mostly made sense...she asked me what I fell for in Todd and I told her how we drank wine all the time out of the Mikasa crystal she gave us, which seemed to make her feel good...I told her because I imagine it's a time in someones life where you want to feel like you will still be a part of people's lives once you are gone. She liked her floral arrangement and I told her that I had wanted to ensure it was elegant, which was to her taste. This, too, made her smile.

Physically, she is so tiny I'm surprised she's still with us. She is on no pain medicine and I think most people by this point would be. I am uncertain if that's her choice or not, but I think it is because she did mumble something about how they want her to sleep all the time but she's not going to.

My mother still plans on hopping on a plane on Tuesday and going to VA for weeks or months. I know she's trying to get away because she can't deal with this. I hope that in the long run, she doesn't regret it.
On Monday we had talked about the fact that she was ready, but I told her we never exactly know...God does not give us a punch card. She thought that was funny, but true.