Nap Wars

I wish I had a picture of the image in my head... Adam in my arms, like a baby, gently sleeping while I rocked him. Looking so much like his father and me and his sister in a rare moment of calm. His long eyelashes (Abbey will probably be jealous) and his dirty blond curls all over...his mouth open just a little...his perfect pale skin... This is not something I've seen in months. And even as an infant, these moments have been rare as Adam has always struggled with following asleep unless he is alone. Last summer, I would have to hold him in my arms until he fall asleep, but it usually accompanied him crying and smacking me to keep himself up.

Every few months, Adam and I have an installment of nap wars. He hates to go to sleep and miss anything. We've got him pretty well trained at night, but if we go off schedule too many days in a row, even that becomes a struggle for a few days.

Nap wars can start if Adam's needs are changing, if I've messed up his schedule too much or ....just because he's Adam. This used to make me very anxious because I know my son...without his nap, he is miserable. And going to sleep at night becomes hard for him if he's overtired. But I realized the last time there was a pattern....that this happens every couple of months and I just have to re-register his needs and spend a few hard days forcing him back on track.

The last couple of days, I tried an old strategy...let him stay in for an hour, take him out for an hour and put him back in....but he seemed to realize if he just held out he'd be rescued. He didn't cry...just play.

I've tried putting him in later, but it didn't help. Today, I pulled an old trick and after a half hour I went into his room and held him and rocked him...expecting resistance...but, it may sound awful, but sometimes both my kids need a little cry to settle down. It breaks my heart if they're alone, but if I'm holding them, I can see they just need to get it out.

But I didn't get the reaction I expected. A few tears and within ten minutes, my little boy was asleep in my arms for the first time in months (except when he was sick). A moment I wanted to hold onto....but I knew if I didn't put him in his crib, he could wake up....so I Let Him Go....