Butler Disposal Growing...

A couple of months ago, Todd got two brand new garbage trucks from Mack.  I love this little name plate they put in it.  Todd needed some new trucks to keep up with his expanded services.  The picture below is one Todd took of Adam when he took him to work with him one day.

And here the truck is...isn't it pretty?  I want to drive it!  He just ordered a roll-off he says we can all get into.  He has around 25 trucks these days.  So proud of all his hard work and growth!

Last of Ellie's Birth

 This is a picture I took sitting in my bed in the hospital in the middle of the night.  I was so hot, they gave me a fan.  Anyhow, this photo captures exactly how it feels in a hospital in the middle of the night.  Dark and muted, feeling like night but also endlessly turned "on"...the hum of staff doing their work.  There was some other people on the floor and I was up a lot trying to get Ellie to eat more.

The next morning, Friday, the day I went home, I had the pediatrician, Dr. Varnum (he works in the same practice as mine...he's a bit odd...when I asked if Dr. Liepke was coming the first morning he was very serious and asked I wanted her paged) check her out.  He said that she had lost a pound, but she was just under the point where they worry.  He pointed out that at seven pounds five ounces is a normal baby, very serious.  I had to laugh to myself...I wasn't used to a "normal" baby.  They gave me this syringe thing in which you slide a tube in the side of her mouth and formal comes out of it while she is nursing...supposed to keep her trying.  It did.  I felt a lot better...like she was getting food, but I hadn't given up on nursing.

Not sure at what point I took these photos in that time period, I think that night.

Poor Ellie, her eyes were so affected by the gel they put on their eyes after they are born.

Todd was set to come between noon and one.  I cleaned up myself and the room...kept trying to feed the baby.  And then, with the lights off and the shades mostly pulled and the fan whirring softly, I drifted off again with Ellie snuggled on me.  I didn't mean to.  I'm not really a napper.  But I was tired and so was she, finally able to sleep again with food in her stomach.  It's an odd moment, one stuck in my memory as I drifted off.  I was excited to go home and be with my family and Adam and Abbey, but it was a moment I wanted to hold onto.  I had my littlest girl.  She was healthy and happy, all my fears of the last nine months were for naught.  Eleanor was here.  Our family was complete.

Todd came as I was signing some paperwork, stressed from work and ready to take us home.  We loaded up and left, Ellie in her seat on my lap as they insist on wheeling you out.   We were headed home.  Ellie's cries were so much quieter than we were used to, we actually stopped for me to check to make sure her face wasn't covered.  But, nope, that's just how she sounds.

Having Ellie Part 7/The Rest of Thursday

On the third day I was at the hospital, Thursday, Todd and Bobby brought Adam and Abbey to see me.  They brought Wendy's, too as I had told Todd I was starving from bad hospital food.  The kids did surprisingly well eating Frosty's without getting it EVERY where...!  Abbey did better than I expected with the baby.  She was curious and affectionate, but mostly she wanted to hug my first and then steal my balloon second.  

When they arrived, I had been napping and Ellie was in her little bassinet next to me.  Something about the lighting and the way she was breathing made her look...blue. For the first time since I had become a mother, I had a horrible second where I genuinely feared the worst.  She wasn't moving.  Even Todd thought she looked off, after that second was gone and I realize that she wasn't...well, you know.  I called the nurse and she kind of saw it, too, or at least pretended to and took her to the nursery to have her checked out.  She was fine.

They stayed about an hour and half and left.  Ellie was restless and we were both frustrated from her trying to eat, so I started walking her around the halls.  She loved it.  And I needed to keep moving, anyhow.  I was stopped by three nurses on the birthing side...

"Were you the one that was transverse and she kept moving?"  they asked, all excited.  It wasn't until I went home and looked it up did I realize the way she was transverse is really rare.  We started talking and somehow I started hearing stories about all the wild things their daughters did.  The conversation actually got a bit racy... And one of them was married to a man from Denmark and she was excited to hear that I had actually BEEN there!

Bethany and Brianna came by soon after, bringing me EXCELLENT rhubarb pie.  Ellie was hungry and fussy and wouldn't even settle for Bethany, who I always called the baby whisperer.  But...she did settle for Brianna!  Bethany said she was going to have to give up her title :)

Bethany did get her to cuddle a bit after Brianna got her settled in :)  They brought her a cute little toy and adorable shoes.

Later that night, Ellie was still struggling to eat and they informed me she had lost a pound.  I started to worry.  It was clear to me that she would get frustrated from trying to eat and give up and fall asleep, which I didn't like.  They brought me formula to pour over myself to get her to suck better (yeah, it felt as gross as you think it did).  She actually ate a little and slept sounder as I used this trick through the night.  But I was worried...it seemed like a lot of weight to lose in two and a half days.

Eric

This Is Eric, Adam's speech therapist.   I didn't know what to expect when I finally broke down and went through the school system after being given an appointment with a developmental pediatrician over a year after the request was made.  Initially, we chose that route because we wanted to know if there were underlying issues to his anguage delay. But I knew that we were losing time, so we decided to fill out district paperwork in November, Adam was tested in December and assigned Eric at the end of January.  When he came for the first time with his supervisor, inside I sighed at the fact that he was very young and inexperienced.

But although that was true, it turns out, Eric was the right person for Adam.  Frst, four times a week, which has been reduced to three times since the district meeting at the end of April, he comes for thirty minutes.  Through playing with books, games, the computer and pay dough even, he has encouraged Adam's language skills.  Being a guy has been good for Adam, who has been surrounded by women besides his Dad, of course.  For a while, Adam would act out when he came, hiding or being rude.  I'm not sure why because he insisted that he liked him.  But last,month, he broke out of  his shell and started to get excited when he came.  Last week, he saw him out the window, went and grabbed his boots and went to meet him.  So cute.  We are going to have him come privately to tutor over the summer as we think he really makes a difference.  Of course, Adam's progress is about us, his parents, and his teachers, too, but we feel Eric has made a difference.   Next year, Eric is moving onto grad school and Adam will get a therapist at school, but he is worth mentioning...and remembering.

Book of Mormon, Round 2

Way back in March, we went to see the Book of Mormon in Rochester.  I had Todd take this photo in the parking lot since I didn't want to whip out a camera inside and I needed some type of photo, of course.

On the way, we had enough time to grab something quick, so I convince Todd to stop at Orbacker's, a Rudy's type place my DAD loved on 104.  Fish wasn't bad, fries were good.  Nice to share something with Todd I liked as a kid.


The show was very good, but seeing it on Broadway first wasn't really fair.  If I hadn't, I would have raved about this  show, but the Broadway one was so amazing, nothing could live up to it!  It was fun to see it again...the music is amazing, but once you've seen the show with the performers who are on the actual album, it's a hard comparison.  The only exception was the main female lead.  She was INCREDIBLE...better than the one on Broadway and probably has a VERY long career in front of her.

It was funny to see some of the reactions of the older or more conservative patrons, particularly during intermission as a couple of the songs are offensive I think in a different way than people expect.  They walk in expecting cursing, sexuality and jokes...not sure they expect everything they get!

And thank you Tammy for babysitting :)  It was nice to have a date night and it really ended up being our last one as we didn't make it to Les Miserables in May.  Hoping we can juggle it to make it back next year...love out nights out, love the theatre and love the shows.

Stove Trouble

A week after I got home from having Ellie, I discovered the oven wasn't working.  I hadn't really used it for a week as I wasn't cooking, so I'm not sure what happened.  Todd came home and checked it out, me thinking that maybe the pilot was out.  Nope.  Todd said we needed a new stove...wasn't fixable.  My 45 or so year old Magic Chef stove, which I liked to brag that they didn't make like that anymore had died.  When I came to Todd's house for the first time, the appliances in Todd's kitchen impressed me...Here is a guy, I thought, who doesn't get rid of things just because they're old.  Hey, I was going through a divorce and I was a little emotional!! :)

So we went to Lowe's last Monday morning and picked out the least expensive gas stove.  At $460.  What?  Man, the next one up cost almost $700.  And for the life of me, I couldn't figure out what made it $240 better.

That night, I cooked the last meal on the old stove.  Hot meat sauce.

Ah, the old timer we had to unpug because it would randomly go off.

No more lighting each burner each time I use it!

I have no idea why this is sideways.  Ugh. But it's taking me so long to figure out all my new I-technology, if I waited until I fixed this, I'd never get this out!  So here it is.  The new stove.  The digital controls are different and you can just turn the knob and it lights!  It's kind of the 2013 version of our old stove, which I like.  And there is a broiler in the bottom, which cooked some great steak last night.

Having Ellie/Part 6 Wednesday Night & Thursday Morning

Wednesday night, Uncle Bobby stopped by on his way home.  He had been on Adam and Abbey duty, but wanted to see Ellie.  He was smitten, as you can see.  I had taken a shower after Tammy and my boys left and before Bobby came, so I was feeling better.  Ellie ended up sleeping a lot that night and I got up around 4am and wandered the halls, which you are supposed to do after surgery.  One of the midwives was at the reception desk chatting with the nurses.  Seems like the entire ward, which I'd had to myself was getting busier.  Kathy had delivered Abbey, so I stopped to talk a bit.  At first, I hesitated to wake up Ellie.  it's not uncommon for them to sleep a lot the first day, but you have to try and get them enough food in between!  And as I missed her and it seemed too long since she ate, I took her back to my room.  I hadn't yet realized until later that day that she was frustrated with trying to eat as it wasn't coming quickly.  Dr. Dasari came later that morning, Thursday morning (time in hospital blurs from day to night and back again).  She said it looked like I was healing fine.  At some point during that day, they informed me I had a UTI from the catheter.  (Details are starting to blur...it's been almost 4 weeks!!)  Great.  So I was put on an antibiotic.  I talked to my sister Carolyn on the phone and took another shower.  A long one.  Love my long hot showers, even at the hospital...

Father's Day Shift

We don't have fathers in this house.

Three years ago, we lost them both.  Todd's Dad first, a day shy of 86 at the end of May and then my Dad, at age 64 on July 7.

That last Father's Day in 2010 I pulled into my parents' driveway to see my Dad...act like my Dad for the last time.  Not sick.  He was showing Mom how to use the lawn mower and she was oblivious and driving into a ditch and waving and he was cursing and trying to get her to stop.

I had already given him his gift..the most recent seasons of True Blood and Dexter.  When I had handed them to him early, I said I figured it wasn't worth waiting. I had meant because he knew he was getting them.  He thought I meant because he was dying.  I can think of these things without weeping.  But I miss him.  What's more, I miss most what I didn't get to see.  Him holding Ellie...him taking Adam fishing...him spoiling the heck out of a grown-up Abbey.

But Father's Day is still worth celebrating here.  My three children have an amazing father.  I knew from the moment Todd and I started discussing spending our life together he'd make a great Dad.  Our children are his first priority.  He thinks of them all the time and plans for the futures constantly.  He has always been ambitious and a hard worker, but since he's become a father, I can see how it drives him to succeed even more.

And nothing makes him happier than seeing his kids...happy.  He tries his best to take care of their needs and be there for them emotionally.  He is loving and caring, like my Dad was.

Todd is a father worth celebrating.

In a time when many Dads are absent...either literally or mentally....Todd wouldn't dream of not being there for them.  He can't even stand it if they go to bed before he gets home!  Our kids run to the door when he gets home Abbey saying DADDY DADDY.  Warms my heart.  And I know my Dad would feel the same...that his grandkids have a great father would make him proud.

Adam made him a card at school and one at home and Abbey picked him out a card at the store and decorated it.  They each gave him a book: Goodnight, Ipad and Darth Vadar and his Princess :)

We had steak and broiled shrimp at his request...I will admit he had to finish cooking it while I took care of Ellie.

We will end the day with wine and the season premier of True Blood. We were going to go somewhere today, but this seemed like a better idea.

I remember the day I told Todd we were having Adam.  I called him to my apartment at Hart Hall and told him he was going to be a Dad.  He took off his ski hat as he leaned on the back on the arm chair in my living room, a bit speechless and shell shocked (rare for my husband :).  That was February 26, 2008.

"No," he said after a pause.  "Anyone can be Dad.  I am going to be a Father."

First Zoo Trip of 2013

At the end of April, we took our first zoo trip if the spring/summer to the Seneca Park Zoo in Rochester.  It was a bit chilly, but it worked out since I was slow, hot and pregnant and the zoo wasn't very busy.  A couple of animals weren't there because of the cool temperatures, including the alligator.  One of my favorite animals there is the rhinoceros.  Adam likes them, too.  I asked him to let me take his photo with them and he agreed, but couldn't hold still!

Closest I've seen the eagle.

Abbey loved the giant snakes.  SSSSSSS she was saying.  SNAKE!

Following me to the bathroom and running back when I caught them.

Looking at the tortoise.  Which we call Master Uguay from Kung Fu Panda.

OK Mom, one picture.

Abbey ran up in the bus with Adam.  Todd had to get them because prego me wasn't going up those stairs.

We all love the elephants.

And this is the photo of the snakes Abbey insisted on taking.  Both kids like to try and take photos now!

A highlight of the day was that the tiger was actually in a place where we could see her.  Usually she hides quite a bit.  We stopped at Pizzeria Uno on the way home...we all like their pizzas.

Part 5/Wednesday Afternoon

Travis left as Ellie wanted to eat.  A little while later, Tammy came by and took some beautiful photos. Miss Eleanor, one day old.

I took this one from my bed.  Doesn't she look SO tiny?

Daddy showed up with Adam while she was there.  The night before, Adam broke my heart.  Todd called me at bedtime and Adam was really, really sad and crying.  Todd put him on Facetime and my heart nearly broke.  I've been gone at bedtime before, but Adam knew this was different.  He was upset.  I sang to him his songs and he calmed a little, but he looked so crushed.  It was awful.  We decided that Todd should just bring Adam the next day to see me and meet the baby.  Adam went right over to "My baby Ellie".  He was excited to meet her and see me.

You can see his affection for her.  I love this.

And I love this photo.

He just couldn't wait to kiss his Baby Ellie.

Come on, isn't your heart melting?  Adam left seeming fine and was fine at bedtime that night.  Adam always does much better when he has a better understanding of what's going on.

Tammy brought a little outfit and knitted this beautiful blanket and hat.

"She's sooo cute".  Adam loves to say that still :)

Her official label.

Tammy had to go to work around 2pm and my boys stayed a little bit to visit.  I started to miss Abbey.  They went home before dinner time.  Just me and Ellie again.

The First 24 Hours/Part 4

Todd went home around 7pm to get the A-team to bed.  A lot of the evening is hazy.  I did get some wonderful stadol in my IV to help with the pain which honestly made me feel like I was falling off the edge of a cliff.  I was concerned about feeding the baby, but she actually slept a lot.  I was in and out of sleep.  I remember texting Todd and he asked me if I was high.  I admitted I may have been.

Around 2 or 3 in the morning, the nurses came in and unhooked the catheter and helped me get up.  It's standard to do that about 12 hours after surgery.  Getting up was hard and I needed a lot of help.  I limped with an escort to the bathroom.  Sitting down was HARD.  I sat in a chair for a while afterwards to work a different set of muscles.  Ellie was sleeping in the nursery through most of this.  I actually got some sleep, which I didn't expect.  Didn't happen with the other two!

The next morning, the nurses helped me out of bed again.  We talked about a shower.  But before that, I got a surprise visitor.  Actually, Todd called me and told me a minute in advance that Travis Bliss was stopping by...he owns Bliss Environmental in Camden and is a good friend of Todd's and had started to be a friend of mine.  I fretted for half a second how I looked than got over it.  I can't get any photos from my phone into my email, so I'll have to post it later.  He was officially the first visitor to hold Eleanor!  He was disappointed Todd wasn't there.  Later, he sent me some beautiful flowers.

It had been 24 hours since I had given birth to Miss Ellie. It was a whirlwind.  I could hardly stand up, but the surgery already seemed like no big deal.  Amazing how the things we build up end up just fine...more than just fine.

Ellie Goes to Camp

Pausing from the birth story.

Yesterday, we decided to go to camp, which, besides the doctor, was Ellie's first trip out, with a stop on the way at a store near Watertown that sells Amish furniture, specifically as our dining chairs are dying, one by one.   We had to wait until Todd was done with work so I hustled around the house getting things done, getting all the kids ready and keeping the A-team occupied.   I kept waiting for the anxiety to kick in over taking Ellie out for the first time.  It didn't really come.  Guess with three kids, my nerves have finally kicked it down a notch.

We took both cars in case we bought something...me with the girls and Adam with his Daddy, which he loves.  He is in a new Daddy stage.

We walked around and though all the furniture was gorgeous wood, it was VERY expensive.  Ellie did well in the car and walking around.  She was none too pleased when she was put back into the car without food.  Todd stopped at the Subway in Chaumont to grab dinner while I drove to the cottage so I could feed the kid.

The guy we hired to clean up the yard and trees was there.  The previous owner had taken no care of the property beyond bare minimum.  It's nearly three acres and many trees were overgrown, weeds and a giant pile of brush behind the barn.  When we bought it, I thought I'd be able to do more of that work.  Then I got pregnant.  He had cut down most of what we had asked, including a rotting grapevine and a mysterious berry tree my kids kept wanting to eat.  No thanks.  It looked a lot better.  He's quite a character...kind of like Daryl from the Bob Newhart show.

I had to get the baby in the cottage and Todd soon followed.  Darren was gone before I had a chance to talk to him...I think it was five and must be he quits no matter what!  We ate our dinner and the kids ran around outside.  We discovered our well pump had stopped working.  Great.

Ellie appears not to be a huge fan of her car seat, which surprises me as she likes the swing and the papasan...  So I carried her outside and down the dock where Todd and the other kids were.  Wrapped in a blanket, she fell asleep while I walked around and the other kids went wild.  I think she liked the feel of the breeze while I stood on the dock.  Neighbors stopped by to chat....including the guys who put our dock in and came back and removed a rotting apple tree for us.  It's definitely a little community in our little strip...many of them related, of course.

But I got exhausted quickly and Todd was already tired from work and then having to chase kids.  It's fun to see how they love to run around, but Abbey scared the crap out of us running to the highway and then disappearing.  The next 20 years are going to give me white hair, I think.

So far, I think the biggest change with three is that Todd and I are going to get tired of situations quicker.  Two hours instead of three, for example.

We ended stealing a couple of the chairs from camp which are smaller than our chairs here, but match...unlike the folding chairs we have been using.  I kind of like the idea of investing in some real wood furniture.  I know it's expensive, but it won't fall a part.  As Todd was carrying those chairs into the house, one broke.  Seriously.

Ellie cried on and off the whole ride home.  Guess at this point, she is not a sound car sleeper.  Like Abbey.  Who slept through Ellie the last 40 minutes home as sound as could be.

She was so exhausted from the trip, she had a hard time waking up to eat at night.  So she woke up for a few minutes.  A lot more often.  Not an ideal night for Mom.

She likes her song "Eleanor Rigby"  and the rest of the Beatles.  We listen at night.

The whole time I was pregnant, I kept thinking that if I could get through the first year, I'd be fine after that.  But now that she's here, I do NOT want this first year to fly.  The last 12 days have already flown by.  I want to enjoy each day and stage.  The fact that I KNOW it's my last probably contributes to that feeling.  I'm not in a hurry.  That doesn't mean juggling three isn't more work.  No more reading the New York Times on my IPAD.. ha!